ANATOMY OF AN ILLNESS

I seem to go through distinct “phases” when I succumb to the lurgy.

1. The “I’ve got a cold kinda lingering on the periphery” stage. Does pretty much what it says on the tin. Characterised by a general feeling of “unwellness” and even more malcontent than usual. Can last up to two weeks.
2. The “Feck me here it comes” stage. Usually lasts about two days and can involve sore throats, runny nose, etc.




Make mine a pint!


3. The “Man flu” stage. Probably a day (two at most). The little bugger really moves in to stay and stakes it’s claim to your entire immune system.

4. The “Oh Jeeze that’s disgusting” stage. Like most folks with respiratory issues (asthma) colds always migrate south to the chest. Their work in your nose and head is done – this is simply their equivalent of “R&R” and they set up their holiday home in the chest for a fortnight. Other than a death-rattle-cough I usually feel not too bad at this stage. However the feeling of "wellness" is somewhat spoiled by the continual coughing up of jelly baby sized, jelly baby consistency, custard coloured lumps - hence the title of this stage says it all really. Copious amounts of cough medicine are taken.
5. The “I’m just getting over a cold” stage. Actually this isn’t really a stage at all as I usually feel tickety-boo. But, a bit like the first stage, it’s a really handy excuse for explaining away a crap run!! This stage has been known to last up to four weeks.

Had a day off work with stage 3 yesterday and now moved into stage 4.......